Pants! Featuring an original poem by poet Trevor Parsons (and continued on the back of the card!) this card details giant pants, scant pants, some as small as ants pants, new pants, old pants, some are full of holes pants, loose pants, tight pants, not a pretty sight pants! When something is pants in the UK, it means not good, or rubbish. Send this card to a friend going through a tough time, or send it to anyone in need of a smile and a giggle!
This square card is printed in the UK onto FSC certified card and comes (plastic-free) with a matching white envelope.
Card Size (square): 15 x 15cm
Current Stock: 10
We ship globally to all destinations serviced by Royal Mail.
Shipping costs for 1-2 cards:
|Royal Mail 1st class||Not guaranteed. Normally 1-2 working days (subject to delay)||£1.20|
|Royal Mail 2nd class||Not guaranteed. Normally 3-5 working days (subject to delay)||£1.00|
|Next Day Guaranteed (order by 11am Mon-Thu)||Guaranteed delivery before 1pm (a signature is required)||£6.90|
|Saturday Delivery Guaranteed (order by 11am Friday)||Guaranteed delivery before 1pm (a signature is required)||£11.30|
We ship orders daily, Monday-Friday (our daily cut off for posting out is 11am), except for Bank/National Holidays.
Royal Mail First Class
If you have placed your order before 11am on a weekday, your order will normally be shipped the same day. 93% of all Royal Mail first class post arrives the next working day, however this is not a guaranteed or tracked service and sometimes it can take a little longer.
Royal Mail Second Class
If you place your order before 11am on a weekday, your order will normally be shipped the same day. Second class post takes 2-5 days to be delivered. This is not a guaranteed or tracked service and mail can sometimes take longer to arrive at its destination.
Next Day Special Delivery (UK Only)
If you place your order before 11am (Monday-Thursday) and select Next Day Delivery, you order will arrive with your recipient, guaranteed, before 1pm the next working day. Please note that someone has to be in to sign for the package. This service does not operate on Bank Holidays or weekends.
When you select the FREE postage option at checkout, your order will be sent by untracked second class Royal Mail.
Local pick-up is available from our address: 3, Olympia Way, Hucknall, NG15 8HT. Pick-up is available Monday, Wednesday and Friday between 5-7pm. We will bring your order out to you at our doorstep and we will maintain social distancing (or wear a mask), we thank you in advance for showing a similar courtesy.
A signature is not required for deliveries apart from:
If UK customers order Next Day Special Delivery. A signature is required for this delivery. We may send orders over £60 by recorded delivery.
General Delivery Terms
Where possible, all our orders are dealt with on a daily basis, so turnaround for delivery within the UK will usually be within 3-5 days, often sooner. Europe delivery time should be 7-10 days and the Rest of the World delivery should be 2-3 weeks. All UK orders should be received within 21 days and International orders within 4 weeks. In the instance that an item is out of stock the customer will be informed and given further options.
For more in-depth shipping and returns info, please visit Shipping and Returns
Will a person actually hand-write my card?
Yes. Your card will be carefully hand-written with the message of your choice! Simply choose your sending option from the drop down menu and write your message in the box underneath.
Is there a message length limit?
Yes, the character limit for the handwritten message on your card is 280.
Is there a cost for this service?
Yes, the handwritten fee is £2.00 per card on top of the cost of your card. We take every effort to ensure your card is written as beautifully as possible, and as you might expect, this is not a process you can rush! :)
How do I order a handwritten card?
I'm so glad you asked. Click here >> Here's how you can order your card, in six easy steps!
How does my card arrive when I select "Handwrite and Send Direct"?
When you select this option, we will personally handwrite your message in your chosen greeting card (the text box for writing your message appears on the page of your chosen card as soon as you select the option "handwrite and send direct"). We then attach the address sticker of your recipient to the front of the card's envelope and post it to your recipient by your chosen shipping method. No other information/invoices/notes are included with the card when you select this option. Just the card with your message handwritten inside.
How does my card arrive when I select "Handwrite and Send to Me"?
When you select "handwrite and send to me" we will handwrite your greeting card for you, we will put the card in its envelope but leave the envelope unsealed (so you can check the message or enclose other items in the envelope when you receive it), and we will send the card back to you in an outer, board backed envelope along with one of our thank you notes.
Can you delay sending my card until a specific date?
Sadly not but we can write a message to your recipient on the envelope that says "Open me on [specified date]" If you'd like us to do this for you, please leave a message in the notes box at checkout and we will sort this for you at no extra cost.
Can you write in different languages?
We will write your card in whatever language you choose! We have already written cards in Italian, Spanish, French, German, Finnish, Dutch and Welsh! Our limit is that it must be in the Roman Alphabet, we sadly don't have the time or skills for Hanzi, Cyrillic or excessive emoji's! 😂💩
I want to send several handwritten cards to multiple addresses, can I do that?
Absolutely. At the checkout select the "Ship to multiple addresses" option where you'll be able to add a new address under each of your chosen cards.
Please make sure your recipient will know who the card is from as it is posted to them without any other order details, and please make sure that your message adheres to our terms and conditions of personalisation.
What does the writing look like?
Something like this: